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The Heavy vs. Zangief
The Heavy vs. Zangief 'is the eight episode of the first season of Bon's Death Battles. It features the Heavy from the Team Fortress series against Zangief from the Street Fighter. Description. ''Valve vs. Capcom! Will Zangief be able to pile drive ''The Siberian Bear or will Heavy's weaponry defeat Zangief in the long run?'' Interlude. Wiz: Russia, a proud country, with proud heroes fighting for its respect. '''Boomstick: Heavy, the Mow-Down man of the RED Team. Wiz: And Zangief, the wrestling Red-Cyclone. I'm Wiz and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyse their weapons armours and skills to find out who would win, a Death Battle! The Heavy. Boomstick: Ah, the Heavy Weapons Guy, one of my personal favourite classes in TF2, right behind the Demoman of course. He's that guy who appears in nearly every G-Mod video, EVER! Wiz: Well, his, backstory isn't as light-hearted as those videos seem. Heavy's father was a counter-revolutionary who was executed, and that his mother, sisters and himself were sent to a north Siberian Gulag in September 1941. The gulag was destroyed and all prisoners escaped in December of the same year. Boomstick: Really? You wouldn't expect that in a game where instead of doing your mission, everyone congas. Anyways, the Heavy is a towering hulk of a man, he joined the RED Team to provide for his family, with his main weapon being his trusty Minigun, or as he calls it, I mean her, sorry, Sasha. She weighs 150 kilograms and fires 200 custom two cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon..for twelve seconds. How ever, Heavy has also stated that he collects old coins...so he can melt them into bullets for Sasha...Anyways, Heavy uses Sasha to mow down all opossing babies, teeny-men, and cowards. Heavy: Entire team, is babies! Boomstick: Heavy also carries around a Shotgun, which is kind of weak compared to other shot guns in fiction. ''' Wiz: And that's the beatuy of TF2, it's a FPS like no other. '''Boomstick: Ah, ok, so is that why he has a FUCKING SANDWICH THAT HEALS DEADLY WOUNDS THAT COMES BACK AFTER BEING EATEN? Heavy:*eating a sandvich* Nom, nom nom, nom, nom. Wiz:....yes. Yes it does. The Sandvich is a sandwich with the ability to regenerate after being eaten, and heal the Heavy back to full health. And it can also be dropped on the ground with a plate to heal others 150 health points. Oh yeah, did we forget to mention Heavy has the most health out of any class with a staggering 300? Boomstick: Dayum, Heavy also uses his bare fists as a weapon, but sometimes has special gloves or in this case, mittens, to put over them, meet, the Holiday Punch, a pair of mittens that, when hit in the back or if Heavy get's a critical hit, will force people to laugh. Which will give Heavy enough time to do his trusty taunt kill attack. Heavy:*performing taunt kill* POW! Haha. Wiz: Back to critical hits, what are they? They are rare occrunces that sometimes when a weapon hits someone, it does extra damage. Boomstick: Like Pokemon! Wiz: Yes, like Pokemon. However, if he was a Pokemon, Heavy would never attack first, because he has one main weakness, his speed. He moves extremley slow compared to other classes, and when he revs up his Minigun. Boomstick: Sasha! Wiz: He moves at a Snails Pace! Boomstick: There's also the fact that he is a fucking idiot! Wiz: What? No! Heavy is one of the smartest mercs in the game, he has PhD in Russian Litrature, while the other Mercs seem to have no formal education. But his speed is a terrrible weakness, making him a target for Spys, Snipers, and Scouts. Even with his snail pace, Heavy is still one of the most dangerous mercs. Heavy: Wahhhh, Wahhhhhh, HAHAHA, CRY SOME MORE! Zangief. Wiz: Ah, Zan- Boomstick: He killed Mika Haggar god dammit! Wiz:*annoyed* Zangief is a Russian Wrestler. Born and raised in the Soviet Union, Zangief is an incredibly patriotic character who has been motivated in some way to fight for his Motherland in every single game he has ever been in. Zangief is a massive fighter, weighing 253 lbs. and standing slightly over 7 feet tall, placing him among the tallest characters in the entire Street Fighter roster. He is specialized in the art of Sambo, which consists of wrestling and martial arts. but no leglocks or chokeholds. His moves include a double lariat. Boomstick: Which was stolen by Mike Haggar. He also has the Atomic Suplex, a multilple suplex attack. The Banishing Flat, an attack used to counter projectiles. And as stated before, Zangief, hates projectiles. And Siberiean Blizzard let's him be a helicopter as he jumps into the air while doing Double Lariat. Wiz: The Airplane Spin is where he puts the opponent on his shoulders, spin him around, and when he stops and puts them down, they're dizzy. As seen in Street Fighter: The Movie the game. Boomstick: Shut up! We both despise that game, and the movie. Wiz:....yeah. The Flying Brain Crusher is when he does that attack in mid-air and slams the opponent to the ground. And then, there is the Flying Piledriver. His main attack, learned by piledriving a bear in a tornado, the Flying Piledrive is one of the strongest, if not the strongest attacks in Zangief's arsenal. And a variation on this is the Flying Powerbomb. Boomstick: Awesome.... Wiz: It is stated he fights Grizzly Bears, but Capcom don't do research as good as us, so Grizzly Bears are not even native to Russia. It is much more likely he wrestles Ussuri Brown Bears, which can weigh up to 1500 pounds, well over twice the size of a full grown Grizzly. The Final Atomic Buster super combo is where he does two atomic suplexes, and finishes it off with a Flying Piledriver, throwing them into the air, and doing another Flying Piledriver. Boomstick: And with Iron Body, he reaches a new form, Mech Zangief! Wiz: Mech Zangief is a cybernetic version of the normal Zangief, while being slower and not being able to block, he is far stronger and more durable when in this form and get's another attack in the form of Siberean Breath. And now, the Final Atomic Buster has blue holograms of Mech Zangief follow him while he does it, and now it ends with an explosion! Boomstick: Sweet damn! That must hurt... Wiz: Zangief is powerful and prideful about his country, he fights for it, not himself. And is always employed by the Russian President to be the country's representative in fighting tournaments. However, he is fairly dimwitted, a follower rather then a leader, but no matter what game he's in, Zangief is deadly. Zangief: I am the Red Cyclone! DEATH BATTLE! You sure can dance Mr. President! Zangief had just won in the latest tournament, and was taking a break by celebrating his hard-earned victory. He was dancing with the president of mother Russia him self. But the President decided that it was it for a day, so everyone went home, but was it the end of the day for Zangief? The President called Zangief into his office later, and as they both sat down, Zangief took a shot of vodka. The President: Zangief, I congratulate for your victory, but we have a problem, it appears that over in America, there is a highly dangerous group of Mercenaries which are beilived to have a briefcase holding notes that could be highly negative on our country and I would like you to take back the briefcase. Zangief: You can count on me Mr. President, book me the next plane ride ot America. And so, Zangief hopped on the next ride to America. When he was there. He set out to find the group of Mercenaries. Meanwhile at the RED Team base... Sniper was on watch duty on his watch tower, as usual, until he saw a giant man wearing nothing but Red Trunks. Sniper: Hey! You're bloody mongrel! Put on some clothes! Sniper aimed for Zangief's head, until he started running up to him and jumped on to the watch tower, and landed where Sniper was. Sniper was shocked, but he didn't have a lot of time to be after Zangief threw him off the watch tower. He wasn't dead, but severely damaged. Zangief walked into the RED Base, where he saw Engineer, Medic and Spy, sitting and talking with each other. Medic: And then his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again, haha! He saw the massive brute towering over him. Medic: Ah, hello good sir, may I interest you in an organ removi- The Medic was cut off after being grabbed by the neck by Zangief, Engineer tried to hit him with his Wrench, but he was grabbed by the neck as well. He slammed their heads together, Spy tried to go in for a back stab, but was thrown into a wall. Pyro came into the room, so Zangief took Spy's knife and threw it at Pyro's arm, s/he grabbed his/her arm in pain, so Zangief came up to him/her, and slammed his/her head through the floor. Heavy, Scout, Soldier, and Demoman were all protecting the intelligence, and as they heard the beatings that were going on upstairs, they wondered what it was. Scout: Heavy! Me, insane-o, and drunky are going upstairs to see what the fuss is all about. You stay here, ok? Heavy: Ok, you go. Scout, Soldier, and Demo walked upstairs to see what was going on, and there they saw their teamates nearly dead. And then they saw Zangief. Demoman: Ay, what's the big fuss laddy? Zangief: I have come for the briefcase, give it to me, and no harm will be done. Soldier: Oh yeah? What makes you think we will give it over? Scout, Demo, get em'! Scout tried to attack him with his Bat as Demo tried to attack him with his scrumpy bottle. But they were both sent flying by the Lariat Clothesline. Soldier: No matter, I have one last weapon! Soldier threw a slice of bread at Zangief's face. Soldier: Wait, one last-last weapon! Soldeir took out his trusty Rocket Launcher. He prepared a shot, as a green mist of energy formed around his hand. As the Rocket came flying towards him, he hit it back at him and Soldier was sent flying into a wall. Scout, in a desparate ettempt of survival, took Heavy's nearby minigun, which he left there earlier, and attempted to shoot at Zangief, but Zangief came up and did his Piledriver on Scout. He then looked down on the Minigun. Zangief: It is a fine build, but not enought to take down the Russian Cyclone! Heavy then came up too see what happened, his teammates nearly dead, he didn't care that much, but he saw another man with Sasha?! Heavy: You! You not touch Sasha! Zangief: Who's Sasha? Heavy: You want to touch her and you not know her name?! Fight me! Zangief: If you want, prepare to lose! FIGHT! Heavy and Zangief ran at each other and got in a grab with one another, ultimately, Zangief won, and threw Heavy to a wall. Zangief ran up to Heavy to punch his head into the wall, but Heavy dodged it. While Zangief was trying to get his fist out of the wall, Heavy ran up to Sasha and grabbed her. He would've cradled her, but he was in a fierce battle. So, he reved her up, and began shooting at Zangief. Zangief ran down a nearby hall, while Heavy continued shooting. Zangief hid behind a wall. He stopped hearing the noise of the Minigun. And decided to come out, only to be punched in the nose by Heavy. Zangief held his hand up to his nose in pain and fustration, and out came a double lariat! Zangief's spinning fists hit Heavy multiple times. After the attack was finished. Zangief began to spin into the air, taking Heavy with him! Eventullay, they both hit a ceiling, and fall to the ground. They both fell, but Heavy got up first, he attemped to go in for the taunt kill. He began to wiggle his fingers. Heavy: POW! Haha! Zangief managed to move out of the way, as Heavy blew on his fingers, Zangief jumped on the Heavy, sending them both to the ground, Zangief clenched his hands together and started smashing Heavy's face. After the fourth hit, Heavy grabbed Zangief's arms, he then headbutted him. Zangief got off, and Heavy got up. Heavy then took out his shotgun and shot at Zangief, it hit him, but only a splash of blood came out. Zangief was shcoked the shotgun didn't do more damage. Zangief ran up to Heavy's and kicked him in the stomach, he then lifed Heavy up onto his shoulders and began to spin him around. He stopped and put Heavy down, Heavy was dizzy, so he grabbed him and put Heavy's head in between his legs, indicating he was going for the Flying Piledriver or Flying Powerbomb, but Heavy flipped him over his head, making Zangief fall to the ground. While on the ground, Heavy took out Sasha, Zangief saw the giant gun aiming for his head, he grabbed the top of Sasha, and flipped Heavy over with it. Heavy was on the ground but Zangief picked him up and uppercutted Heavy, Heavy was getting annoyed, he grabbed Sasha and reved her up, but Zangief jumped over Heavy and began running out of the hall. Heavy started to look around, he came to where his teamates were attacked by Zangief. They were moaning in agony. He continued to look around, suddenly Heavy felt a box being thrown at him, it was Zangief. Heavy growled as Zangief continued to throw boxes. The boxes kept hitting Heavy, but Heavy caught one and chucked it back at Zangief. Zangief ran to Heavy, and gave him a Flying Powerbomb, Zangief got up, while Heavy stayed on the floor. Zangief walked up to Heavy, smile on his face. But, Heavy tripped up Zangief, giving Heavy a chance to get up. Both fighters got up, eyeing each other down. But Heavy suddenly pulled out his shotgun and started shooting Zangie multiple times, after 3 shots, he took out Sasha, and began shooting Zangief. Heavy stopped, Zangief was wounded.and was lying on the floor, Heavy walked up to him, he went in for one final punch, but... Zangief blocked it, he grabbed Heavy's hand, and suddenly, a Iron Coating began to appear on Zangief. Mech Zangief had arrived. Heavy took out Sasha, and began shooting, but the bullets just hit off Mech Zangief's body, Zangief ran and went behind Heavy, and used the Atomic Suplex on Heavy. Heavy was dizzy, and then Mech Zangief threw Heavy through a nearby door. As Heavy was getting up, Zangief went up to him and blew the Sibriean Blizzard at him, sending him back,, Zangief then grabbed Heavy by the back and used the Fianl Atomic Buster. He grabbed Heavy and gave him two Atomic Suplexes, a Flying Piledriver, and then jumped into the air again and gave him anotheer Flying Piledriver and ended it with an explosion! After the smoke had cleared, Zangief had went back into normal form, he put his two hands up in the air and cheered, and walked away. Heavy had been defeated. K.O ..... Or was he? Heavy lay on the floor, bleeding to death, that attack was the strongest he had ever indured, he had lost hope, until, he saw his saviour, a fine assortments of meat and the greatest vegetables you could ever taste, put between bread so delicatley created. It was a Sandvich. He used his last bit of strength to grab the Sandvich and eat it, he chewed on it, and he stood once more, fully healed. As Zangief was walking out of the base, Intelligence in hand, he saw heard a man shouting. Heavy was still alive. Zangief growled and dropped the briefcase and ran at Heavy. Heavy ran at him, Zangief tried to go in for a Double Lariat, but Heavy ducked, in a last effort attempt, Heavy put on the Holiday Punch mittens, and punched Zangief in the back. Zangief didn't feel anything, but he felt the sudden urge to burst out laughing, he trief to resist, but couldin't. Zangief began to laugh uncontrollably, which gave Heavy the ultimate oppritunity, he wiggled his fingers, and... POW! Haha! Zangief shouted in pain, as a giant gash had formed in his back, he fell to the ground, body lifeless. Heavy sighed in relief, and walked back to the base with the Intellgience to heal his friends. K.O Heavy gives a Sandvich to the Medic so he can heal the rest of the team, while wild animals feed on Zangief's body. Conclusion. Boomstick: Whoever knew mittens could be so deadly... Wiz: While Zangief had every physical advantage except durablity, Heavy's weapons are what put him over in the end, Heavy has been burnt, hit with multiple explosives, and more, so he could survive all of what Zangief could throw at him, there's also the fact Heavy is much smarter then Zangief. Boomstick: And while Heavy has the taste of Sandvich, Zangief has the taste of defeat. Wiz: The winner is The Heavy. Triva. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:BonBooker Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'East vs West' themed Death Battles Category:'Street Fighter vs Team Fortress 2' Themed Death Battles Category:Anti Hero themed Death Battles Category:Capcom vs Steam themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015